As a single woman the quality of man that I wanted to marry increased with every age I turned. When I was younger all a guy had to be was nice to look at, but as I grew, I came to realize that it takes more than just a cute face and swag (for millennials haha) or "motion" (for my Gen Z people lol) in order to have a successful relationship and eventually a marriage. One of the most important things to me became a man's relationship with God, but not fully knowing what a relationship with God should look like in my 20s caused me to end up being fooled by what the bible refers to as a form God godliness.
1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 2 Timothy 3:5 NIV
In the beginning of my dating spree, I would get excited and let my guard down when a guy I was on a date with confirmed that he had faith in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Don't let him also be going to church - oh I would be over the moon! lol It was like a sigh of relief once I got that little piece of information - in a way I thought it was a clearance for me to entertain this guy because it seemed that he believed in God like I did. As time went on, I noticed that the actions of these men almost never aligned with what they claimed to believe. Now don't get me wrong, I know for a fact that no one is perfect and there will be times that we don't get it right and fall short. We are all continuous works in progress, and this did not make them bad people overall. However, it is still so very important that if we choose to align ourselves with God, or anything for that matter, our actions should also coordinate with what we believe.
You can really see how tight people get when you suggest that if they believe in God, they should act like it. It seems like all they hear are a bunch of rules meant to constrain them and cause them to lead dull and boring lives. (Not gonna lie - I was one of those people. lol) I'm a nice number of years into this walk with God and I can honestly say that I was completely wrong. What God request of us is quite simple. Instead of causing your life to be lack luster, He wants to enrich it.
It is cute, and even a little heartwarming, to see a guy that you are interested in go to church faithfully and refer to God with respect, but honey I learned after my share of frauds that it is much more vital that he WALKS it how he talks it! It can't just stop at showing up to the things of God - eventually the things of God have to show up in our lives with how we carry ourselves and what we believe is right. To have a form of godliness is to say you believe, go to church, pray, speak in tongues etc. yet your life has not changed and is STILL filled with blatant sin. I mean just comfortable in it - wallowing in it like a pig in slop! As believers we are urged to stay away from such people because essentially, they know the right thing to do yet they reject His power in their lives because they are content with doing whatever they want to do.
Belief alone was not enough for me anymore...my questions changed.
He believes in God, but is he submitted to God?
He reads the bible, but does he try to live by it to the best of his ability?
He loves the Lord, but does he love people and treat them with respect despite whether they deserve it or not?
He prays to God, but does he live his life in an honest way?
Even believers who are submitted to God fall short of His glory. However, the difference is when they do there is conviction that is felt and there is also a heart of repentance. There is a strong desire to want to please God and not intentionally live in a way that is contrary to his nature even when society says its ok.
In conclusion, I know what he/she is saying to you about their faith but what is their life, actions, and choices displaying to you? Don't let one little form of godliness that someone verbalizes cause you to be attached to the wrong thing any longer than you need to be.